Oscar "Losers" In Top Categories Still Get $232K Goodie Bags

Oscar "Losers" In Top Categories Still Get $232K Goodie Bags

toilet paper

Don't cry for the actors who don't win one of the top 5 awards. a marketing company has come up with a gift package worth $232,000 for the losers.

Congratulations! You were nominated in the Best Actor or Actress, Best Supporting Actor or Actress, or Best Director categories for an Academy Award. What? You didn't win? That's OK, here is your $232,000 consolation prize. Thanks for all your hard work!

Yep, that's right. The consolation package for the people that don't take home an Oscar in those big five categories will be able to drown their sorrows with trips, fitness and beauty goodies, free rental cars and other extravagances, courtesy of Hollywood-based marketing firm Distinctive Assets.

Here's the run down of the goodies:

  • Haze Dual Vaporizer ($249.99)
  • Personalized M&Ms ($300)
  • A 10,000-meal donation made in the nominee's name to an animal shelter or rescue of their choice ($6,300)
  • A lifetime supply of Pu-erh Tea Nourishing Cream and Pu-erh Tea Cleansing Bar ($31,200)
  • A year's worth of Silvercar rentals ($45,000)
  • 10-day all-expenses-paid trip to Israel ($55,000)
  • Tribute video services ($125)
  • Caolion Ultimate Pore Care gift set ($134)
  • Healing Saint Luminosity skin serum and hair follicle stimulant ($193)
  • Private walking tour of Japan for up to 15 days ($54,000)
  • 10 personal training sessions with Alexis Seletzky ($900)
  • Belldini gift certificate ($300+)
  • Chapstick ($6)
  • Chocolatines Drunken Fig Cake Bites ($35)
  • Dandi Patch to make sweat stains disappear ($21)
  • Delovery gift basket ($2,000)
  • Druzy earrings ($25)
  • Fit Club TV "Ultimate Fitness Package" ($6,250)
  • Gleener on the Go ($11.99)
  • 3-day stay at the Golden Door Resort & Spa in San Marcos, CA ($4,800)
  • 3-night stay at the Grand Hotel Excelsior Vittoria in Sorrento, Italy ($5,000)
  • 3-night stay at the Grand Hotel Tremezzo in Lake Como ($5,000)
  • Greenhill Blanc de Blancs wine ($39)
  • Hydroxycut Gummies ($19.88)
  • 3 fitness training sessions with Jay Cardiello ($1,400)
  • Joseph's Toiletries toilet paper ($275)
  • Sterling silver necklace ($150)
  • Memobottles ($47)
  • El Silencio Mezcal ($75)
  • Mission1 protein bar ($5.64)
  • Nuelle Fiera arouser for her ($250)
  • Phantom Glass screen protector ($49.95-$59.95)
  • Purely Inspired Organic Protein ($19.97)
  • Rouge Maple culinary products ($99)
  • Sedone Lace makeup brush set ($109.95)
  • Signature Vodka ($70)
  • Slimware plates ($29.95)
  • Steamist spa system ($5,060)
  • Sundial powder coating ($500)
  • Blow dryers and flat irons ($250)
  • Vampire Breast Lift ($1,900)
  • Wallet ($125)
  • 740 Park plastic surgery ($5,530)

The most expensive items are a $55,000 10-day trip to Israel, a $54,000 15-day private walking tour in Japan, and $45,000 in free rental car service for a year from Silvercar. The cheapest? A Mission1 Protein Bar for $5.64 and Chapstick for $6.

The weirdest, although probably not for Hollywood, is the $1,900 Vampire Breast Lift, which takes blood from your arm and inserts it into your breast from improved cleavage. I'm sure that will look great on Matt Damon. OK, his wife will probably get it. And then there is the $5,530 plastic surgery gift from 740 Park, and the $275 Joseph's toilet paper.

Excuse me while I go heat up my microwave pizza on elegant paper plates, and then get cleaned up with my Suave for Men and Colgate toothpaste. Well, at least I have my Chapstick.

Source: The Daily Beast, via Town & Country

Permalink

I want to lose an Oscar! Anyone want to make an Oscar-bait movie designed to fail?

008Zulu:
I want to lose an Oscar! Anyone want to make an Oscar-bait movie designed to fail?

I have some experience doing tech work for theatrical performances, I'm sure it'd translate reasonably to a film set. If you can act lets do it. X-D

Seriously though...is that FIVE holidays I'm counting? In a "goodie bag".

Also worth noting:
Nuelle Fiera arouser for her ($250) - Google tells me this is some sort of foreplay thing.
Sundial powder coating ($500) - Google (again) tells me this is some kinda high-quality surface finisher.

Some very random stuff. I like the fact there's a Chapstick in there though. X-D

Why is it that rich and famous types have stuff given to them a lot like this? They already have more money and stuff then a person really needs... Stuff like this depresses me.

this is just so depressingly wrong...

Lightspeaker:

008Zulu:
I want to lose an Oscar! Anyone want to make an Oscar-bait movie designed to fail?

I have some experience doing tech work for theatrical performances, I'm sure it'd translate reasonably to a film set. If you can act lets do it. X-D

Seriously though...is that FIVE holidays I'm counting? In a "goodie bag".

Also worth noting:
Nuelle Fiera arouser for her ($250) - Google tells me this is some sort of foreplay thing.
Sundial powder coating ($500) - Google (again) tells me this is some kinda high-quality surface finisher.

Some very random stuff. I like the fact there's a Chapstick in there though. X-D

I'm more curious as to whatkind of wallet they get! =D

And the Academy is already suing them for IP infringement... http://news.sky.com/story/1644029/academy-sues-over-200k-oscar-gift-bags

Monkey see, monkey do.

Lightspeaker:

008Zulu:
I want to lose an Oscar! Anyone want to make an Oscar-bait movie designed to fail?

I have some experience doing tech work for theatrical performances, I'm sure it'd translate reasonably to a film set. If you can act lets do it. X-D

Seriously though...is that FIVE holidays I'm counting? In a "goodie bag".

Also worth noting:
Nuelle Fiera arouser for her ($250) - Google tells me this is some sort of foreplay thing.
Sundial powder coating ($500) - Google (again) tells me this is some kinda high-quality surface finisher.

Some very random stuff. I like the fact there's a Chapstick in there though. X-D

I'm familiar with how Oscar bait movies are written, they tend to be formulaic about a bunch of things. I'm in!

PS. I accidentally put my response inside the quoted text, so now it's fixed.

Capitalism, so good.

Can't wait for trickle down economics, soon it's our turn right?!

Most of that stuff is dumb and I wouldn't use it. Hell, just giving me a lifetime supply of bog rolls would be better.

Original story from the Daily Beast is over 2 weeks old, the Academy is suing them for IP infringement, and most guests wont accept any such gift bags because they get charged tax on them, but don't let any of that stop you from recycling old news and offering it as content, Escapist.

Personalized M&Ms ($300)

That's a lot of M&Ms! :P

Don't know how much of a joke this is, but looks fun :)

A 10,000-meal donation made in the nominee's name to an animal shelter or rescue of their choice ($6,300)

Huh? That's actually kinda nice and not pointless.

You had me at Chapstick and that protein bar... but, you sold me on the Vampire Breast Lift! Where's my cheque book? :P

Other than that, too bad the tax is getting in the way of getting a second-hand version of all this... :p

008Zulu:
I want to lose an Oscar! Anyone want to make an Oscar-bait movie designed to fail?

i have seen every oscar nomination since 2008 (yes im serious, no i have no life). time to start making one i guess!

NPC009:

A 10,000-meal donation made in the nominee's name to an animal shelter or rescue of their choice ($6,300)

Huh? That's actually kinda nice and not pointless.

noticed that too, probably the only actually nice item on the list.

 

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