Furby Movie Announced - No joke, Just Sadness

Furby Movie Announced - No joke, Just Sadness

Furby Movie #6

The Chicago Cubs won the World Series and now we're getting a Furby movie. The apocalypse is coming.

Hasbro can't leave well enough alone. Despite most of its property's movie adaptations being terrible - Battleship, the first Ouija, G.I. Joe - they make money, and when you're a business that's your number one priority. Fine. But even Hasbro can't be totally sold on a movie based on Furby, right?

Speaking at the American Film Market, Bob Weinstein - along with a couple of Hasbro executives - announced that a Furby movie is in the works. It will be produced by the TWC-Dimension division of The Weinstein Company, and will, unfortunately, be a mix of live-action and CGI.

Isn't Furby an odd property to be making into a film, though? I mean, those things were really popular ... 15+ years ago. Nowadays? Do kids now even know what a Furby is? And if they do, do they really want to watch them on a screen instead of playing with them? Transformers? Okay. I understand that. You can create CGI robots and have them smash into each other, basically bringing a kid's imagination to life (in theory; we know how it worked out). But Furby? I can't be alone here in thinking this makes no sense and also sounds like a horrible idea?

Even the Hasbro executives seemed to think this is a joke. No director is attached, but one of them quipped "We're out to David Fincher."

Whatever, movie industry. Keeping giving us toy advertisements dressed up as films.

For probably unrelated reasons, that reminds me: I have to see Trolls in a couple of hours.

Source: Variety

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Why not? They've made movies out of dumber shit...oh my god, they've made movies out of dumber shit.

...why?

Sadness? No. Mortal fear? Yes.

Look into the hairy one's eyes.
Do you see love? Trust? Friendship? Even loyalty?

What.

Do.

You.

See?

...

I'll whisper a little hint.

...Murder. Crazed. Unflinching. Backstabby Murder.

So it is going to be a horror film, right?

Oh, hey, didn't they already do two of these films before? Where you couldn't let them touch water, feed them after midnight and some other rule to do with daylight probably? Yeah, pretty sure they did.
Hmmm...

Is it a horror movie?

And I thought that was a product of the 90's?

Can we blame all of this on Ronald Wilson Reagan?
....
Please say we can.

On the other hand still not as bad as anything Sonic The Hedgehog related.

God damnit, Marter....just....just god - fucking - damnit....

Why must you always, ALWAYS be the barer of bad news?

When they said "everything old is new again" I really don't think this is what they meant.

Wrex Brogan:
...why?

Two words: Creative bankruptcy.

Y'know what.

Emojis are getting a movie. So let Hasbro do whatever they want. At least they aren't making movies out of internet fads like Pepe and Long cat.

I mean... at least it sounds like a better concept then... the Emoji movie... seriously what the fuck were they thinking with that one.

The Rogue Wolf:
When they said "everything old is new again" I really don't think this is what they meant.

Wrex Brogan:
...why?

Two words: Creative bankruptcy.

This is an insult to Creative Bankruptcy. Creative Bankruptcy looked into the hole these people are digging and went 'Fuck. That.' I mean... christ, when was the last time anyone ever mentioned a Furbie? I think the Simpsons did it last in like, 200-fucking-7. God damn.

Why a Furby of all things? I mean I get making a movie out of stuff like Max Steel since there's a narrative attached to that - no matter how obnoxious it is - but Furby's are just.....there. Is there seriously no other toy that had a story/background world pre-built that they could use instead of this?

...What?! I know they're running low on ideas, but this is scraping the bottom of the barrel!

Dragonbums:
Y'know what.

Emojis are getting a movie. So let Hasbro do whatever they want. At least they aren't making movies out of internet fads like Pepe and Long cat.

They probably will now that you've said it.

To quote an American treasure, movies make me want to be dead.

Hasbro, do us all a favor and stick to the Equestria Girls series (and hopefully the upcoming MLP movie). They're the only product placement films of yours that have been worth a damn.

...because it's impossible to create a successful movie based on toys, right? Remember how Toy Story and The Lego Movie were terrible?

Yes, that's sarcasm. Because while there's nothing to guarantee the movie will be good, I don't see anything wrong in the concept. Not original, but, what, it's okay to make adaptations of some material and not others?

So is their plan to basically make a really shit version of Gremlins? Because that's about the only thing I can think of to do with the damn things that doesn't solely revolve around destroying them. Seriously, how many people legitimately think about Furbies and go "I actually really miss that"? Not enough to justify a full length movie, I'll tell you that much.

while I do love ripping on dumb toys, the redesigns do fix some fundamental flaws with the old version, such as the extreme creepiness factor and overall derpiness that made it less endearing and more jar jar binks

Oh man, the reviews are gonna be glorious.

Also, sorry you have to watch Trolls.

Hawki:
...because it's impossible to create a successful movie based on toys, right? Remember how Toy Story and The Lego Movie were terrible?

Yes, that's sarcasm. Because while there's nothing to guarantee the movie will be good, I don't see anything wrong in the concept. Not original, but, what, it's okay to make adaptations of some material and not others?

Toy Story is less about toys and more about being a toy and what that role means in the broader life of the human being that owns them. The Lego movie was a lot of things but frankly since the driving motto of the toy itself is 'If you can imagine it, you can build it' I'm inclined to give it a pass.

Furby has neither the heart and soul of the former nor the drive to stimulate the imagination of the latter. So unless the writer's pull something utterly fucking brilliant out of their arse then I feel it's safe to consign Furby the Movie to the pile of inoffensive but baffling attempts at brand revitalization.

Gordon_4:

Hawki:
...because it's impossible to create a successful movie based on toys, right? Remember how Toy Story and The Lego Movie were terrible?

Yes, that's sarcasm. Because while there's nothing to guarantee the movie will be good, I don't see anything wrong in the concept. Not original, but, what, it's okay to make adaptations of some material and not others?

Toy Story is less about toys and more about being a toy and what that role means in the broader life of the human being that owns them. The Lego movie was a lot of things but frankly since the driving motto of the toy itself is 'If you can imagine it, you can build it' I'm inclined to give it a pass.

Furby has neither the heart and soul of the former nor the drive to stimulate the imagination of the latter. So unless the writer's pull something utterly fucking brilliant out of their arse then I feel it's safe to consign Furby the Movie to the pile of inoffensive but baffling attempts at brand revitalization.

^Exactly. All of the Toy Story movies and the Lego Movie had heart and effort put in to them. This just looks like another crappy cash grab. Remember the Angry Birds movie? Me, neither, because it was just another lazy loud CGI movie to entertain the little tykes for 90 minutes, and torture anyone above the age of 10. I hated Furbies back then, and that has not changed presently at all.

A film based on Furbys? So it'll be 80 mins of kids trying to teach the creepy little bastards every swear-word they can think of before their little sister comes home from school? Gotcha.

Marik2:

Dragonbums:
Y'know what.

Emojis are getting a movie. So let Hasbro do whatever they want. At least they aren't making movies out of internet fads like Pepe and Long cat.

They probably will now that you've said it.

After posting this I just now remembered that they did have a movie a out Grumpy Cat. Granted it was never released in theaters and was a television movie. I guess it was pretty okay seeing as how it drummed up no talk about how garbage it was.

What does it say that this is actually the least offensive concept Hollywood has shoved out in recent memory? This actually makes sense on some level.

Why? Those haven't been a thing for like 20 years. Who are they trying to pander to? What audience is this meant to appeal to?

Marter:
Furby Movie Announced - No joke, Just Sadness

Why must you hurt me Marter? I was having a good day... Why...?

Crossing fingers for a Critters reboot and furbies turn out to be some kind of hybrid species that evolved.

Vanished:
Crossing fingers for a Critters reboot and furbies turn out to be some kind of hybrid species that evolved.

Only if Ugg is in the movie again!

I actually think that Furby has some potential for a half decent film... but I'm not going to hold my breathe that this will happen. I'm kind of hoping for a Gremlins plot but it's more likely to be an E.T. or maybe a smurfs style narrative.

... also is Furby still a thing? I thoght that it had it's time in the late 90s. I suppose they get some tickets sold by young parents who want their children to like the same shit that they did.

Marter:
Whatever, movie industry. Keeping giving us toy advertisements dressed up as films.

Honestly, that was the 80's cartoon business in a nutshell, wasn't it?

If i remember right, the forbies toys were a tamagochi with fur and kinda a demonstration of cheap "learning AI". Never saw one outside a package, but the commercials said it could see and hear, and recognizes reoccurring things.

What if they make a Johnny 5 story or a Asimov plot.

I don't know what you're all complaining about, Furbys are sexy.

Well, at least it's not being made by a company I respect. Fuck 'em right off and movin' along...

Ok Hollywood it's time to get off the drugs man, you are scaring me.

Hopefully someone gets wise and pulls the plug on this one.

 

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