Who's Ready for The Emoji Movie?

 Pages 1 2 NEXT
 

Who's Ready for The Emoji Movie?

Because this is what cinema needs.

There is a movie about emojis coming to cinemas in 2017. Despite our best efforts, we could not stop it. Today, we got the first teaser trailer for the film - and it is, to put it bluntly, probably the worst teaser trailer ever, with the possible exception of the teaser trailers that tease the teaser trailers.

In it, an emoji tells us that there is a movie coming. He says he's excited but he's monotonous. Humor! That's basically it. There's also a brief snippet of a scene in which there is a poop joke. If the filmmakers were trying to make those who already didn't hate this idea hate it, then mission accomplished.

The director is Anthony Leondis, who previously co-directed a direct-to-video Lilo & Stitch sequel, as well as helming the instantly forgettable Igor in 2008. Leondis co-wrote the screenplay with Eric Siegel, whose previous writing credits include six episodes of television and nothing else.

The Emoji Movie is scheduled to hit theaters on August 4, 2017.

Permalink

I wanted to make an ironic shitpost with only emojis but I don't think these forums support them.

I don't think this movie should have been made nor do I know the demographic it's actually for.

Whoever green lit this movie for production either has some serious balls, or amazing job security, because if I learned of this I'd fire the person in a heart beat for wasting company funds.

I.

Am.

Ready.***

***(To read your review and save myself the cash and sanity at your expense in time, sanity and...negative...money?)

Wait, what exact efforts were put into stopping this? I need full timetables and receipts of all nefarious activities.

Lets hope this finally puts the nail in the coffin that is the whole "Kids like trendy hip things, yo dawg!" mass marketing schlockfest 50 year old studio execs think is cool with teens.
Hate to see it go, but here's hoping Sony Pictures spends all their money on this tanker, and goes under.

This is another example of why I've lost so much faith in humanity, and here's why.

1: Two dick-nuggets came up with this idea.
2: This idea was constructed and drawn out enough to create a pitch.
3: This pitch was presented to studio executives.
4: These studio executives green-lit the project.

I look forward to the inevitable cinema snob review

If this movie is set in portrait mode like this, I'm putting this in my top 10 worst movies ever, I am not holding any punches here.

image
I just love how Chloe from Life is Strange is in this movie, good people will know why.

Ugh.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Who must be sundered with infernal pitchforks so that this whole effort will stop?

Welp, movies are officially dead.

I...I have no words. I've seen some weird things in my life, I thought that the whole Lesbian Tracer thing was gonna be the highlight of the day, but... Good God...

I'm guessing this is part of a conspiracy by some group of directors and publishers/distributor to flood the market with extraordinarily shitty movies, forcing reviewers to sit through hours and hours of garbage until they lose the will to live, following which people will have no idea which movies are shitty or not without shelling out to see them in person.

...you know, this movie would've been infinitely better if they'd gone live-action, and just have all the emoji's be regular people wearing an emoji shirt, and just gone whole hog on some surrealist shit. Really experiment with the format, given the ridiculousness of the opening idea.

But no, they went with a shitty, uninspired animated film with fuck-awful character designs. Such a waste.

Marter:
Today, we got the first teaser trailer for the film - and it is, to put it bluntly, probably the worst teaser trailer ever, with the possible exception of the teaser trailers that tease the teaser trailers.

How does it feel to be an art critic living in a world where both this and Norm of the North exist?

Igor-Rowan:
If this movie is set in portrait mode like this, I'm putting this in my top 10 worst movies ever, I am not holding any punches here.

image
I just love how Chloe from Life is Strange is in this movie, good people will know why.

For the exact reason of the first thing you said (which I agree with), I'm far more appalled that they dared to put Chloe into this thing than I am amused by it. I understand the joke, but the sheer fact that people are going to associate her with this steaming pile of trash is sickening.

Well, they're really scraping the bottom of the creative barrel with this one. I eagerly await to see what the first person to review this trash has to say.

This is one of those movies where I look at it and say "I can't believe they actually made this!" Now where's my facedesk emoji.

...Wow.

Just wow.

Someone signed off on this? Man, I REALLY hope it does terrible. Because going by that teaser trailer, it does not deserve to make money. x_x

Rot Krieg:
Welp, movies are officially dead.

Not until the necromancers at Disney pull it back up with Marvel and Star Wars.

Probably be more accurate to say that Sony Pictues Entertainment needs to keel over and die.

Maybe it's a trick... Like a little after the beginning, it'll do a total 180 and have a huge ass fucking twist. Holy hell, that would be brilliant.

09philj:
How does it feel to be an art critic living in a world where both this and Norm of the North exist?

I think this is one of those times when a .gif sums it up.

image

Just... wow.

On the bright side Marter, after watching this, you'd be happy to watch whatever mediocre films are sure to follow it.

Ugh, they canceled Lauren Faust's Medusa for this. LAUREN FAUST! She made mlp awesome, let her make awesome things.

THE EMOJI MOVIE! Featuring a character who is catatonically bored and a literal pile of shit!

Give us your money and we will entertain you!

I don't know what everyone is going on about. This movie seems to have an awesome pedigree. How can this be bad?

Who is this even marketed towards? Kids too young to have cell phones or social media accounts? Teenagers who will feel glee at being "above" it?

The only thing I can imagine is that this is a back-door effort to make people who feel the need to do all their self-expression through emojis feel bad about themselves

In which case I can't say I entirely disapprove. But still.

Okay, I'll be honest, I really don't get the hatred for this film.

That's not to say it looks good, mind you, but, what, is talking emojis somehow crossing some invisible line? Talking toys, talking animals, talking food, films set in videogame worlds/the Internet/cyberspace/whatever is fine, but emojis is one leap of faith too many? And thanks to YouTube links, it at least looks a bit more tolerable than Despicable Me 3.

Maybe it's about the merch?

Hawki:
Okay, I'll be honest, I really don't get the hatred for this film.

That's not to say it looks good, mind you, but, what, is talking emojis somehow crossing some invisible line? Talking toys, talking animals, talking food, films set in videogame worlds/the Internet/cyberspace/whatever is fine, but emojis is one leap of faith too many? And thanks to YouTube links, it at least looks a bit more tolerable than Despicable Me 3.

Maybe because it's made by Sony Pictures who people wants to just die already with all the bullshit they been doing for the past years, case in point Amazing Spider-Man, Pixel(or any Adam Sandler movie) and Barbie with Amy Schumer.

This will be relegated to the January or July slots where movie studios dump filler.

Antonio Torrente:

Hawki:
Okay, I'll be honest, I really don't get the hatred for this film.

That's not to say it looks good, mind you, but, what, is talking emojis somehow crossing some invisible line? Talking toys, talking animals, talking food, films set in videogame worlds/the Internet/cyberspace/whatever is fine, but emojis is one leap of faith too many? And thanks to YouTube links, it at least looks a bit more tolerable than Despicable Me 3.

Maybe because it's made by Sony Pictures who people wants to just die already with all the bullshit they been doing for the past years, case in point Amazing Spider-Man, Pixel(or any Adam Sandler movie) and Barbie with Amy Schumer.

Except this movie is being made by Sony Animation, which is a subsiduary of Sony (Pictures), not the company itself, and would have had nothing to do with those films you mentioned. Looking at said subsiduary, they seem to have done decently critically, even if some of their best work was done in conjunction with Ardman. I can only comment personally on Goosebumps (actually pretty good), but, yeah. An emoji movie sounds silly, but no more so than a lot of other ideas in animation.

Hawki:
... but emojis is one leap of faith too many?

Yes.

Yes it is. That's exactly right.

Hawki:
Okay, I'll be honest, I really don't get the hatred for this film.

That's not to say it looks good, mind you, but, what, is talking emojis somehow crossing some invisible line? Talking toys, talking animals, talking food, films set in videogame worlds/the Internet/cyberspace/whatever is fine, but emojis is one leap of faith too many? And thanks to YouTube links, it at least looks a bit more tolerable than Despicable Me 3.

I'm with you. I mean, Sad-Emoji of the trailer is an animated constantly depressed character, compare that with Eeyore of Winnie the Pooh or Marvin from the Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy; people like those characters. Besides, Inside Out had as lead characters five characters who are literal representations of five primary emotions; that was a beloved film.

So as long as they tie the emoji characters with a resonant, emotional core I basically think it could work. Though this trailer leaves a lot to be desired.

Hawki:
Okay, I'll be honest, I really don't get the hatred for this film.

That's not to say it looks good, mind you, but, what, is talking emojis somehow crossing some invisible line? Talking toys, talking animals, talking food, films set in videogame worlds/the Internet/cyberspace/whatever is fine, but emojis is one leap of faith too many? And thanks to YouTube links, it at least looks a bit more tolerable than Despicable Me 3.

emojis are associated with the same demographics who all post 100+ things a day in social networks, who use a lot of emojis, follow all the usual stupid fads religiously, and all the shebang.
so normally people dont like them.

Hawki:
Okay, I'll be honest, I really don't get the hatred for this film.

That's not to say it looks good, mind you, but, what, is talking emojis somehow crossing some invisible line? Talking toys, talking animals, talking food, films set in videogame worlds/the Internet/cyberspace/whatever is fine, but emojis is one leap of faith too many? And thanks to YouTube links, it at least looks a bit more tolerable than Despicable Me 3.

It's because Emojis are seen as a fad. Its gonna date this movie big time.

 Pages 1 2 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Register for a free account here