Game companies play the Stanley Parable

Narrator: When Stanley came to a set of two open doors, he entered the door on his left.

Sony: Left. Every time we've gone left so far, we ended up winning. Left is the correct way.

Microsoft: Our research has shown that people prefer right to left, so right must be correct.
Later: Oh god! Everyone hates us! Quick, take that side door, get back on the left path!

Nintendo: Well, we went left last time. Why not go right? Mix it up a bit.

EA: Our research has found that there are more endings to the right than the left. Right is more profitable.

Capcom: What do you think, Mr. Squirrel?
Squirrel: squeak squeak
Capcom: Our CEO has spoken! Left!

Square Enix: Branching paths? How horrible! Let's take the one on the left and pretend that other one doesn't exist.

Bethesda: Two doors? I want more! More doors! Give me every door in the world!

Activision: The left.
The left.
The left.
The left.
The left.

Sega: Help! I locked myself in the broom closet!

Zynga: Hold on, I'll ask my friends.

David Cage: Oh, look at that beautiful door! So many polygons. It's like there's a real door right in front of me!

Rovio: Where are the birds? There's no birds! How can there not be birds!
Narrator: Stanley, are you all right?
Rovio: I NEED BIRDS!

Gearbox: Substitute 'guns' for 'birds'

Valve: I will take every door, and each one will be greater than the last!

Rockstar: The right.
The right.
The right.
The right.
The right.

Why not turn this into a forum game? For each new choice that we encounter in The Stanley Parable, someone can post what they think game companies would choose to do.

...What comes after the two doors again?

That reminds me, I really should be playing The Stanley Parable right now.

Barbas:
Why not turn this into a forum game? For each new choice that we encounter in The Stanley Parable, someone can post what they think game companies would choose to do.

...What comes after the two doors again?

That reminds me, I really should be playing The Stanley Parable right now.

Left side, more of a serious play/choices also broom closet ending, I liked the broom closet ending. :D
Right side, more fun and silly choices/endings well except the one with the....spoilers son :P

Sega: Help! I locked myself in the broom closet!

Choked on my macaroni. 10/10, would read again.

How about Mojang: "I've been going left for a while, so I'll go right. Someone else keep going left for me."

Bioware: Hmmm, I think this game is bugged. Nothing popped up to indicate if I choose the good or evil door!

Wrong! Nintendo would probably stand there indefinitely, why make new choices when you can cash in on decade old IP, right?

Obsidian: I appear to have created a third door straight into a singularity, ah well, it happens lets blame the publisher again!

Telltale games: We'll go right. Narrator will remember that.

That's all I got fellas.

lacktheknack:

Sega: Help! I locked myself in the broom closet!

Choked on my macaroni. 10/10, would read again.

This comment made me laugh more than OP did. 4/5, would recomend to a friend

Square Enix: Let's go left, but then give up and try to monetise the broom closet.

Konami: Don't leave room 427, get someone else to make the decision.

Ubisoft: We won't go left unless we know we can get a ton of endings.

Woudln't SquareEnix immediately cry out for the Adventure Line?

Also, we really should have a forum game like The Stanley Parable, the GM would need to have nerves of steel though, with how many people would want to join in.

No to mention the choices.

Besides, Bioware would be more like

".... what color are the doors?"

CrankyStorming:

Ubisoft: We won't go left unless we know we can get a ton of endings.

Wouldn't Ubisoft's be more like

Ubisoft: We can't commit to a door until we know we can franchise one.

And for mine:

Valve: Thank Christ there aren't three doors.

This is a great thread. I approve of this thread.

Matthew Jabour:

Sony: Left. Every time we've gone left so far, we ended up winning. Left is the correct way.

I feel this is more suited towards Ubisoft then Sony.

Sony: Everyone who has gone to the right has died, let's go to the left

Mojang: Let's make our own door!

EA: There are no doors, you can buy a door for 599 Microsoft points

Telltale: Why does it matter? They both go to the same place, right?

Bioware: These doors aren't colour-coded, what am I supposed to do!

Nintendo: Is there a game on the other side or a console. If it is a game, then we will go left. If it is a console, we will go right. Please narrator, explain. Please! Narrator! Pretty please! Narrator! NARRATOR!

BioWare: Needs at least one more choice, and how dare you not tell me what is right and wrong!

EA: No, we will go right and then think up an excuse for ignoring you later. We will only go left if you go left first.

Telltale: Gah! Stop rushing me! Uh, uh...OK, go right! No, left. No...stop forcing my hand! Oh well, the ending will be the same regardless.

Ubisoft: Hey, narrator. You're an idiot. Unless you give us a compelling reason to go left, we will not listen to you, you pathetic, idiotic, moronic, worthless piece of shit!

DICE: No, narrator. You see, you are objectively wrong in your assertion that I should go left. Here, I will go right because I am always right and I know you are always wrong.

Activision: Meh, left was successful last time. Let's do it again.

2K: The choice is not meaningful until the doors look fully realistic.

CD Projekt RED: OK, we'll go left.

SEGA, Square Enix, Capcom, Konami: AFK

Microsoft: Going left would be a backwards mentality. Let's go right!

Sony: LOL, Microsoft! Let's go left!

Valve: I think the narrator will be most pleased if we go left. Therefore, we will go left.

Yeah, I've run out of ideas at this point.

Jasper van Heycop:
Wrong! Nintendo would probably stand there indefinitely, why make new choices when you can cash in on decade old IP, right?

You're both wrong, Nintendo would completely ignore the 2 doors and build it's own door that's facing sideways and claim it's being innovative.

Retro Studios: We'll go wherever Nintendo goes, and we'll be AWESOME while we do it.

Chinese Room: Wow, look at these amazing doors, they're so beautiful. Before I go on I just need a minute to take in this experience.

Naughty Dog: We'll have one team take the exciting, funny, action packed door on the left, and we'll have another team take the tense, heart breaking, thrilling door on the right.

Jaeger: We'll take which ever door makes you feel worse about yourself, which is BOTH OF THEM.

Irrational: It doesn't matter which door we pick, because we realized our endings are much better when we only have one of them.

Monolith: There are more random bloodstains on the left, so I'm guessing we go that way.

Bethesda: I'm sure either door would be fantastic, but right now there's a backwards dragon clipping through them that I can't get past. The fans will probably build an even better door in a few months anyways.

Ion Storm: We'll start with the door on the right, reach the end, then start exploring down a side passage and realize it leads back to the door on the left.

Ion Storm: I can't get through either of them until my two AI partners stop getting caught on the level geometry and catch up to me.

Double Fine: We have all the money we need to go through the door on the left, but while we're doing that we're also gonna
start collecting for the right. It worked for inXile.

LucasArts: Which ever one says 'Star Wars'.

Frictional: Opening doors is fun.

EDIT: One from my sister. Valve: We aren't actually going to go through either door, we'll just stay here playing with the see-saw some more. People still like that right?

Riot: This is never going to work, mid is missing

Mojang: Forget the doors, let's dig through the walls

Suda 51: I'll go through the middle door. (proceeds to run directly through the wall)

EA: The left door. Buy steel door pack for $4.99.

Bioware: We thought 2 doors was too complex so we stream lined it down to one door

Activision: Only two doors? We need at least one annual door from each major franchise to maximize profit!!

I feel like this is the new Lightbulb joke.

Obsidian: Well, the door's infested with bugs, but hey, the graffiti text is nice.

Frictional: If you go through the left door, a monster will be waiting on the other side. If you go through the right door, nothing will happen until about three or four doors down, then you'll run into a dead end, turn around and then hear the moan of some kind of horrible monster, which is now one room away.

Johnathan Blow: The door on the right is the only proper choice and anyone who chooses otherwise is a brainless pleb. A sheep content with following orders.

Peter Molyneux: I'm not walking through doors, I'm discovering the meaning of existence

THQ: ...

Deep Silver/Volition: Two doors? No, that's too many. We'll have one door, with one ending, and sell the rest as DLC. If that doesn't work, we'll cancel the whole project.

Bungie: The doors don't have power armor... I'm scared bro.

Bioware: Left door? Right door? Doesn't really matter. Both will meet up in the same exact hallway in 20 feet anyways.

I think David Gage would say :Having two doors is the failure of the game designer

DSD12:
I think David Gage would say :Having two doors is the failure of the game designer

David cage would have One door, and behind it, there would be a lot of weird stuff that ultimately never makes any sense. And a lot of QTEs

Sweary: Yeah I didn't copy this door at all *proceeds to make an extremely similar room*
Sega: Which door can we whore out faster? Gotta go fast!
Paradox: Not enough strategy in this choice. Which one allows me to control Europe?
Firaxis: Which door ends up with permadeath?
Team Meat: Because we are insane, lets boil the room down to its essence, and then add death traps.
Double Fine: We choose the awesome game, no gain door!
Playdead: Everything sucks. Which door has less spiders?

Bethesda: I went through the left door, but then clipped through the floor. Now I don't know where I am.

Valve: I repeatedly hit the doors with a crowbar, desperately trying to communicate with the outside world due to my inability to speak.

Bioware: I can't venture forth through a door until I gather my party.

Rockstar: I ignore the doors and mug a pedestrian.

Activision: I go and kill the 97 wolves necessary to gather the 8 wolf pelts to give to the hunter to get the experience to be allowed to get to the next area. Through the left door.

Rocksteady: I was going through the right door, but then I lost my connection to the server.

Mojang: I open the right door. Sssssssssss... oh shit ru- BOOM!

Phil Fish: Is the narrator giving me crap for not doing what he wants? I don't have anything to prove to him. Who the fuck is he anyway? What did I ever do to him? I'm being constantly attacked and I can't fight back? Ever? Yeah, that seems fair! I fucking hate this game. I'm done. I'm cancelling my Steam account. Goodbye!

Guys, let's not do a forum game for every choice of the game just yet, okay? Unless the OP puts "MAJOR SPOILERS THAT WILL RUIN THE FUN PART OF THE GAME" or something in the title, at the top, and at the bottom of the first post. >.>

This thread is so full of win, forum game or not.

I got nothing to add exacpt this is one is one of my favorites.

Mothhive:
Phil Fish: Is the narrator giving me crap for not doing what he wants? I don't have anything to prove to him. Who the fuck is he anyway? What did I ever do to him? I'm being constantly attacked and I can't fight back? Ever? Yeah, that seems fair! I fucking hate this game. I'm done. I'm cancelling my Steam account. Goodbye!

From Software: Both doors come alive and kill you.

Volition: Right. Those endings are funnier.
Rockstar: Left. Those endings are grittier.
Valve: We'll get back to you in a few years. Meanwhile, wanna buy some hats?

Suda 51: I will go left and end up on the right

 

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