REPORT: New Indie Game to Have No Gameplay

In an unseen turn of events, new indie developer Puny Fork hopes to release the first video-game with no gameplay.

Martin and his team hard at work on the reward section of the Kickstarter

"We first started off with a 2D platformer with retro graphics but decided at the last minute to change it because reasons" says lead designer Edward Martin.

When asked about the specifics of the project, Martin was hesitant to tell too much story-specific details.

"Imagine interacting with the DVD menu screen options; it's like that but even less so. We really want players to be abosorbed by our story of two lesbians fighting off Patriarchy, an evil terrorist group set in a somewhat Middle Eastern-ish country" Martin said.

"Oh by the way, please donate some money for our Kickstarter; we've already had to eat the intern and we don't want to hire another one. Don't do it for us... Do it for our paychecks!"

Look for the game to be released on Early Access sometime in the unforeseeable future

Source

-TACO News: Forming one controversy after another

I look forward to... playing it...

It's truly indie innovation at it's finest, no way could The big Giant corporations do anything even remotely as meaningful as this.

Iiiinteresting. The Kickstarter pitch video didn't grab me (Protip: We don't need to see the intern, thats just gross), so I might wait to see how it looks on Early Access and make a decision then.

This is the type of hard hitting journalism that we need that only TACO News can give us.

Keep up the good work guys.

Sounds like the worst game of all time... so it's probably gonna break day 1 sales records.

Really?

I'm throwing money at my computer screen right now, but I'm not getting any video game in return.

How can I siphon this intravenously into my body?

I'm holding TACO News responsible for the cracks and scratches on my laptop monitor screen.

Maybe I shouldn't have been throwing coins.

Well I donated a hundred and fifty dollars to the kickstarter. Hopefully that'll get me the day one on disk DLC exclusive from Gamestop where I can get the ability to have my character wearing a different hat.

Goddammit, why can't this game come fast enough?

I want to play it all the highest settings and have all of the graphics on my screen. I want, nay, demand that this game shame all of the other games I've ever played by being so awesome. I really do hope them detailing the shit out of the custom gun skins bring out the best in my D/K streak.

Thanks TACO news, you keep on being awesome and bringing in the news.

erttheking:
Well I donated a hundred and fifty dollars to the kickstarter. Hopefully that'll get me the day one on disk DLC exclusive from Gamestop where I can get the ability to have my character wearing a different hat.

Well, rumor has it that in Best Buy's exclusive edition, your character farts during the final cutscene!

Think long and hard about your purchase now...

I'm digging the idea, but I think they could take it a step further...

How about a video game that not only has no gameplay, but is non-electronic as well? They could just print text on some kind of thin, flat surface. It could be bound together with some kind of adhesive as well, so people would be able to access any part of it whenever they like. No controllers of any kind, just the user's hands and eyes.

Man, I'm getting all hot and bothered just thinking about how innovative that would be. It's probably never going to happen, though. Everyone knows our society is run by a bunch of mysoginist feminist socialist fascist corporate communist redneck hippies that would never let something so groundbreaking see the light of day.

The truly sad thing is I actually thought it was legit until they mentioned eating the intern. No one actually eats interns anymore.

Too late, Puny Fork! All these 'simulators' that are coming out have already done that before you! They've already innovated and brought gaming to its next peak and you're just a copy cat.

Neverhoodian:
I'm digging the idea, but I think they could take it a step further...

How about a video game that not only has no gameplay, but is non-electronic as well? They could just print text on some kind of thin, flat surface. It could be bound together with some kind of adhesive as well, so people would be able to access any part of it whenever they like. No controllers of any kind, just the user's hands and eyes.

Man, I'm getting all hot and bothered just thinking about how innovative that would be. It's probably never going to happen, though. Everyone knows our society is run by a bunch of mysoginist feminist socialist fascist corporate communist redneck hippies that would never let something so groundbreaking see the light of day.

Not going far enough. If they really want to go one step beyond, take thing to the next level, then their only option is to reach the very apex of innovation:

Make a game that doesn't exist.

Seriously, 10³³³/10. Game of Any Year. That would be the genre-defying tour de force and best game of all time to finally lend indisputable legitimacy to games as a form of art. Pack your thing and GTFO, everyone else, because there will be nothing more to be done. It's influence would shake the foundations of society to their core. It would inspire great social advances and scientific breakthroughs. Poverty, disease and hunger? No longer a problem after this. The conflict between Israelis and Palestinians? Solved. Internet trolling? A quaint thing of yesteryear. All would unite beneath this beacon for all mankind, this messiah, this game that doesn't exist.

Now, who do I need to fuck to make this happen? The intern? I'll take it, before or after being eaten.

Chimpzy:
Not going far enough. If they really want to go one step beyond, take thing to the next level, then their only option is to reach the very apex of innovation:

Make a game that doesn't exist.

Seriously, 10³³³/10. Game of Any Year. That would be the genre-defying tour de force and best game of all time to finally lend indisputable legitimacy to games as a form of art. Pack your thing and GTFO, everyone else, because there will be nothing more to be done. It's influence would shake the foundations of society to their core. It would inspire great social advances and scientific breakthroughs. Poverty, disease and hunger? No longer a problem after this. The conflict between Israelis and Palestinians? Solved. Internet trolling? A quaint thing of yesteryear. All would unite beneath this beacon for all mankind, this messiah, this game that doesn't exist.

Now, who do I need to fuck to make this happen? The intern? I'll take it, before or after being eaten.

image

Oh man, I think I need to lie down. Your unbridled genius is too much for me to handle. Are we as a species worthy of such perfection?

Why isn't this article reporting on the news that Puny Fork developers have been sleeping with a TACO News reporter? It's a media blackout I tell you!

I have no idea if it's true or not, but wouldn't a game without gameplay be just a movie?

JoJo:
Why isn't this article reporting on the news that Puny Fork developers have been sleeping with a TACO News reporter? It's a media blackout I tell you!

The reporter sent to investigate was bed ridden by the amount of kinky perversions he found. Couldn't stomach it I hear. Maybe the blackout is for the best!

OT: Truly revolutionary. To think you could take the gameplay out of a game. It's ingenious. To try and represent the futility of trying to control your own life in a deterministic world... It's... there are no words. I feel like we should all support this truly breathtaking concept.

inu-kun:
I have no idea if it's true or not, but wouldn't a game without gameplay be just a movie?

No, it would be a highly artistic, post-avant garde expression of all the ills that plague our society, delivered through the medium of non-interactive video gaming. Don't you dare call it "just a movie"!!!

I thought we already had this.

Ten Foot Bunny:

Think long and hard about your purchase now...

OMG. SO ARTISTIC. I am now torn.

inu-kun:
I have no idea if it's true or not, but wouldn't a game without gameplay be just a movie?

Well, stepping out of the joke for a minute, there were actually "games" essentially like the one described here. An animated cut scene would play, then the player would select an option, then another animated cutscene would play, etc. One of the most famous of these games is Dragon's Lair. It really is more of a choose your own adventure video, but the opinion of general gaming culture seems to be they are, in fact, games.

Huh. Here I thought this was going to be related to Clannad finally being released on steam... I'm not going to say I was wrong.

Wait a second... interacting with dvd screens... feminism... lesbians... and taking down the Man? HOly shit guys, I think this is the long awaited remake of Plumbers don't wear ties! I didn't think I'd live long enough to see the day!

PsychicTaco115:
"Imagine interacting with the DVD menu screen options; it's like that but even less so. We really want players to be abosorbed by our story of two lesbians fighting off Patriarchy, an evil terrorist group set in a somewhat Middle Eastern-ish country" Martin said.

Pfff, clearly this is just more Nostalgia baiting from Indies. Ever heard of Dragon's Lair? Space Ace? Time-Gal? Super Don Quix-ote? 90% of what was released on the Sega CD?

I rest my case.

T0ad 0f Truth:

OT: Truly revolutionary. To think you could take the gameplay out of a game. It's ingenious. To try and represent the futility of trying to control your own life in a deterministic world... It's... there are no words. I feel like we should all support this truly breathtaking concept.

Don't fall for it, bro. They are just pretentious indie developers that are trying to mess with our games by making them all "artistic" and stuff. If they really were gamers, making games for others gamers they would know that games are just for fun and entertainment and that high brow concepts and other artsy stuff is not what we want.

I am much more psyched by the next action RPG coming out of the former USSR. I hear it will be about sex trafficking and that you can have sex with every female NPC in the game and there's next gen graphics and jiggle physics, all handled in a mature manner to fit the gritty ambiance. That's a real game for real fun. Not this artsy indie bullshit.

Gethsemani:

T0ad 0f Truth:

OT: Truly revolutionary. To think you could take the gameplay out of a game. It's ingenious. To try and represent the futility of trying to control your own life in a deterministic world... It's... there are no words. I feel like we should all support this truly breathtaking concept.

Don't fall for it, bro. They are just pretentious indie developers that are trying to mess with our games by making them all "artistic" and stuff. If they really were gamers, making games for others gamers they would know that games are just for fun and entertainment and that high brow concepts and other artsy stuff is not what we want.

I am much more psyched by the next action RPG coming out of the former USSR. I hear it will be about sex trafficking and that you can have sex with every female NPC in the game and there's next gen graphics and jiggle physics, all handled in a mature manner to fit the gritty ambiance. That's a real game for real fun. Not this artsy indie bullshit.

Spoken like a true pleb who just doesn't understand genius ;p

Interwoven into the very structure of this game's narrative will necessarily be a look into our own nature as gamers. A people thirsting for meaning in our interactivity! A meaning that can't truly exist! We look for fun and excitement but only find the lie of choice thrust more fully into our faces!

*more flowery nonsense art talk*

You phillistine Dude-bros and your mistaken ideas of fun are what's morally wrong with the world! I challenge you to a duel sir. A DUEL I SAY! TALLY HO!

If the post wasn't dripping with insincerity enough here's a disclaimer. I'm making a bad joke :p

So, what is TACO News. Is it something like the Onion?

 

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