Stonking Great Games: Darkest of Games

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Exactly what you want in a game like this - a control scheme as sluggish as s stoned hippo driving a manure spreader down the highway.
- Richard Dansky, Red Storm
Wonderful take on everything you can do wrong on a platformer.
- Rusty Buchert, Sony
Unfortunately just like its narrative: a great idea with changing the game world, but hampered by poor controls, no audio, and no consequence for changing items.
- Dan Teasdale, Harmonix
Seemed pretty cool until I got to the actual game part -- instructions are lacking, and hopping onto a small ledge should not be such an incredibly difficult task.
- Greg McClanahan, Kongregate
Funny text, but it was frustrating to go through all that and not get to any actual game.
- Joby-Rome Otero, Luxoflux
Liked the smack talking intro, hated the Mario rip-off... watch your back dude, some day Miyamoto will catch up with you looking for some karate fueled payback.
- Nate Fox, Sucker Punch
Waaaaaay too much non-playable cutscene, but given that the actual game contains awful collision and what are officially the worst jumping mechanics since ET for the Atari 2600, perhaps I should be grateful.
- Yahtzee