Movember might be over, but there's still time to pitch in a few bucks.
If you've been paying attention to the front page of the site over the last few weeks, you might have noticed that your humble news team was taking part in the fine old tradition of Movember, which involves extruding hair from one's top lip in order to raise money for cancer research.
As you can see, some of us are better at growing facial hair than others. News Boss Susan Arendt, for example, went from being an outsider to bookmaker's favourite in just a few short weeks.
Even though Movember has given way to the less pun-tastic December, don't think that we won't take your money anymore. Donating is easy, just choose the soup-strainer you like the best, click on one of the links below, and give whatever you can. We've raised a tidy sum already, but every penny counts.
Your choices are:
Andy "Monochrome" Chalk, whose mighty Canadian moustache is fluent in French, English, and - for some reason - Ancient Mesopotamian; Mike "Muttonchops" Thompson, whose face fungus saved a bus full of kittens; "Officer" Paul Goodman, who has become so rugged that he's currently on special assignment with the North Carolina Highway Patrol wrestling rogue pterodactyls. Completing the gentlemanly quotient of the news team are Marshall "Librarian" Honorof, who is co-writing a political history of Tsarist Russia with the hair on his face; Mike "En Suite" Kayatta, whose dapper whiskers never forget to flush, and me, Logan "Duckface" Westbrook. I probably shouldn't be allowed to use a camera in the future.
If you don't want to donate to the dude portion of the team, why not give some money to Heather "Rainbow Face" McLellan, who pulled her moustache down from the heavens; or Susan "Mega-Stache" Arendt, whose prodigious moustache growing skills have put her underlings to shame.
If you don't want to donate to the human portion of the team, there's always Winston "The Penguin" The Penguin. I mean, come on, he's a penguin with a moustache; how can you resist?