It's Mickey! Hello Mickey! Or is it Ricky? I can never remember.
There are disasters, there are box office flops, and then there is Storage 24, a British horror film that has the honor of being the lowest grossing movie in the US in 2013. It cost £1.6 million (c. $2.6 million) to make - pretty cheap, in the grand scheme of things - and earned just $72 all told. It was shown in one cinema for one week. Yes, that is Noel Clarke in the trailer, who most of you know best from Doctor Who. He co-wrote as well as starred in Storage 24, and did most of his own stunts.
Clarke's character Charlie goes to the storage facility because he's trying to pick up his stuff; he and his girlfriend split, and it's time to divvy up their possessions. Ex-girlfriend Shelley is also on hand, just to add that extra bit of tension. Cue disaster, as an alien creature crash-lands more or less on top of them.
The whole thing is Clarke's idea. "I literally was at a storage facility with a family member, just walking around the corridors, thinking, 'This place is crazy,'" he said in a Moviezone interview. "There's no windows, there are the same lights, and if you walk too far and try to find your way back, you find yourself looking down a corridor and going, 'Where is everyone?'"
The monster's look, at Clarke's suggestion, is based in part on Spider-Man foe Carnage. "I was very happy with it. It was important to me that it wasn't some pig, that it was some humanoid thing," says Clarke.
If you're in the mood for low budget horror thrills, this one's on iTunes now.
Update: the Guardian has since confirmed that the movie was shown for one day only, as part of a TV licensing deal.