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John Funk
Member Since: 20 Dec 2005
Last Active: May 16, 2017 22:17
Themiserables
Staff Awards
When duty calls, they pick up the phone.
OMG Pony!!1
Awards
Pony pony pony pony...
Dwarf
Personality Quizzes
Guns and alcohol - the perfect combination.
Mudkip!
Quiz Awards
I heard you really, REALLY like them.
An Arcane Intellect
Quiz Awards
You're so smart, you must have been buffed by a Mage!
Cat Box
Holiday 2009
Omigosh kitties MEW MEW!
The Escapist Contributor
Staff Awards
Granted for being a contributor to The Escapist
Berserker
Genre Wars
"KHAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN"
Mmmrrrggglllrlglrlglr!
Quiz Awards
Llke guuumu mlmmlu lmilmmlr chrwllwr, guuumu mlmmlu lmilmmlr Glmulmuluuml. Rluuuulr keuulm guuumu!
WarCry Contributor
Staff Awards
Granted for being a contributor to WarCry
Profiteer
Genre Wars
Has earned more than 50,000 treasure
Glorious
Genre Wars
Has won 10 battles without the loss of a complete army
World Warrior
Special Events
I backed one of the fighters in the Escapist Street Fighter IV Throwdown!
Film Maker
Staff Awards
Granted for being a video contributor.
News Hound
Staff Awards
Granted for being an Escapist News contributor
Escapist Gold Badge
Planetside WAR!
VICTORIOUS!
Epic Poster
Forum Awards
Over 1000 posts without incurring moderator wrath. [2 month minimum]
Pillar of the Community
Community
Has been added as a friend by 50 others.
Cyber Celeb
Community
Has been added as a friend by 100 others.
Maven
Community
Has received and read messages from 100 people.
Connector
Community
Has received and read messages from 50 people.
Regular
Forum Awards
Has posted in more than 12 different months.
Hallo-winner
Halloween Party!
You completed all three Halloween events! A Hallo-winner is you!
Prolific
Forum Awards
Has commented on over 1,000 different topics.
Forum Vagabond
Forum Awards
Has posted in more than 10 different forums.
March Mayhem 2009 Crystal Ball
Special Events
I looked into my crystal ball to see who would win!
On Fire
Forum Awards
Created a thread with over 10,000 views.
Zombie Hunter
Halloween Party!
Correctly identified all 30 zombies in WarCry's 30 Zombies in 30 Seconds game!
Bamalam!
Awards
Is a proud member of the Dance Dance Kitty revolution.
Valentine's Day (143)
Valentine's Day
1 letter, 4 letters, 3 letters....take a guess, give it to your special someone! :)
1-Up
Holiday 2008
You've gained an extra life!
In Touch
Community
Has received and read messages from 10 people.
Bestest Friend
Community
Has added more than 10 friends.
Notable Poster
Forum Awards
Over 100 posts without incurring moderator wrath. [2 week minimum]
Communicator
Community
Has received and read messages from 25 people.
Arcade Escapee
Halloween Party!
You escaped from The Escapist's Phantom of the Arcade text adventure!
Monster Masher
Halloween Party!
Correctly identified all 30 monsters in WarCry's 30 Monsters in 30 Seconds game!
The Average Bear
Quiz Awards
You're smarter than him! Congrats on getting 100% on the Escapist Birthday Quiz!
The Noble
Fable II
You are a paragon of virtue. A trail of flowers, bunnies, and rainbows lies in your wake.
Voting Maniac 2009
Special Events
I voted in every 2009 March Mayhem match-up!
Hot Topic
Forum Awards
Created a thread with over 1,000 views.
Socialite
Community
Has been added as a friend by 25 others.
Chatty
Forum Awards
Has commented on over 100 different topics.
Face With A Name
Community
Has set an avatar.
You Really Like Me!
Community
Has been added as a friend by 10 others.
You Like Me!
Community
Has been added as a friend.
I Can Has Friend?
Community
Has added a friend!
Make Yourself At Home
Community
Has created a user profile.
Forum Explorer
Forum Awards
Has posted in more than 3 different forums.
Excellent Topic!
Forum Awards
For creating a thread with over 50 replies.
Genre Warrior
Genre Wars
Has fought 1 battle
Tactician
Genre Wars
Has won a battle
10 About 4
Quiz Awards
For taking the Escapist Birthday Quiz.
Triumphant
Genre Wars
Has won 1 battle without the loss of a complete army
Economist
Genre Wars
Has earned more than 10,000 treasure
Terminator
Genre Wars
"Crush your enemies!"
Surrender Monkey
Genre Wars
"Surrender Monkey!"
Genre Campaigner
Genre Wars
Has fought 10 battles
Financier
Genre Wars
Has earned more than 25,000 treasure
Windfall
Genre Wars
Has earned more than 20,000 in a single battle
Master Tactician
Genre Wars
Has won 10 battles
Resilient
Genre Wars
Has won more than one battle consecutively
Mogul
Genre Wars
Has earned more than 100,000 treasure
Webby Badge
Community
We won the Webby...because we rule!
4th Birthday PDF
Special Events
I downloaded Issue 210 as a PDF!
4th Birthday
Special Events
Celebrating 4 years of The Escapist!
Cinco de Quizo
Quiz Awards
Completed 5 quizzes and even got some questions right!
X Factor
Community
Has added their Xbox Live gamertag to their profile.
Live Long and Prosper
Quiz Awards
Knows more about Star Trek than the Enterprise computer.
Steamy!
Community
Has linked their Steam account on their profile.
Survivor
Quiz Awards
Aced the Easy Left 4 Dead Quiz
Lover, not a Fighter
Community
Has added more than 100 friends.
User Group Member
Community
Member of 1 User Group
Decathaquiz
Quiz Awards
Has completed 10 quizzes.
Zuu Zuu
The Escapist Show
Watched two episodes of The Escapist Show
Always Running
The Escapist Show
Watched 8 episodes of The Escapist Show
Pandor
The Escapist Show
Watched 20 episodes of The Escapist Show
Ruskie Bear
The Escapist Show
Watched Red Alert on The Escapist Show
Sexy Elf
The Escapist Show
Someone got their sexy elf on in The Escapist Show
Big Pete
Apocalypse Lane
Watched the Apocalypse Lane pilot episode.
Game Over, Man
Doomsday Arcade
Watched 5 episodes of Doomsday Arcade
Bernie
Unskippable
Watched 3 episodes of Unskippable
Fishy McSketcherson
Unskippable
Watched 7 episodes of Unskippable
Cutscene Watcher
Unskippable
Watched 15 episodes of Unskippable
And Yet, The Armadillo
Unskippable
Watched 25 episodes of Unskippable
Snaaaaaake!
Unskippable
Watched all of Metal Gear August on Unskippable
Ingenue
Rebecca Mayes Muses
Watched Rebecca Mayes Muse
Songstress
Rebecca Mayes Muses
Watched more than one Rebecca Mayes Musing
Open Mic
Rebecca Mayes Muses
Watched 4 episodes of Rebecca Mayes Muses
Subscriber
Content
Has read at least one article in 5 weekly issues of The Escapist
Early Edition
Content
Has read at least one article in 26 weekly issues of The Escapist
Hitting the Presses
Content
Has read at least one article in 52 weekly issues of The Escapist
Pixel Burglar
Stolen Pixels
Has read 5 Stolen Pixels comics.
Play(Station)er
Community
Has added their PSN account to their profile.
Pixel Bandit
Stolen Pixels
Has read 25 Stolen Pixels comics.
Pixel Outlaw
Stolen Pixels
Has read 75 Stolen Pixels comics.
Beta Chatter
Community
You know who will win in a fight between a T-Rex and a million kittens.
Founder Lord
Community
Founder of User Group with 25 members
Master of Blinking
Unskippable
Watched 35 episodes of Unskippable
Ubermensch
Awards
Gamers are the new supermen.
Brawler
There Will Be Brawl
Watched 3 episodes of There Will Be Brawl
Mushroom Kingdom Confidential
There Will Be Brawl
Watched 5 episodes of There Will Be Brawl
Game Noir
There Will Be Brawl
Watched every episode of There Will Be Brawl
Weekly Warrior
Content
Has read at least one article in 104 weekly issues of The Escapist
Landmark
Forum Awards
Has posted in more than 36 different months. Wow!
The Time is Now
Doomsday Arcade
Watched 10 episodes of Doomsday Arcade
Starring Mike Patton
Unskippable
Watched 45 episodes of Unskippable
Two Bits o' Quiz
Quiz Awards
Has completed 25 quizzes.
Real Ultimate Poster
Forum Awards
Over 5000 posts without incurring moderator wrath. [6 month minimum]
Back 2 The 80s
Rebecca Mayes Muses
Watched 8 episodes of Rebecca Mayes Muses
Decimator
Genre Wars
"See them driven before you!"
Big Daddy
Quiz Awards
Aced the BioShock quiz
Cutscene Fanatic
Unskippable
Watched 52 episodes of Unskippable
Lazer Cat
Doomsday Arcade
Watched 15 episodes of Doomsday Arcade
User Group Regular
Community
Member of 15 user groups
Cul-De-Sac'd
Apocalypse Lane
Watched 7 episodes of Apocalypse Lane
Forum Inferno
Forum Awards
Created a topic with over 100,000 views.
M. Bison
Personality Quizzes
You make ass-kicking an art form.
Team Rocket
Personality Quizzes
You're consistently trounced by a kid and an electric rat. But you keep trying.
The Lich King
Contests
You've got this villain thing down cold.
Pixel Kingpin
Stolen Pixels
Has read 150 Stolen Pixels comics.
The Clancy
Special Events
Twittered about great game literature. #greatgamelit
Toasty
Personality Quizzes
Your heart is full of warmth. You're also kind of a sucker.
Ding!
WoW Timeline
You have successfully interacted with the Escapist WoW timeline.
Otacon
Personality Quizzes
The very definition of Nerd Power.
Maestro
Personality Quizzes
There are probably people out there who don't buy videogame soundtracks. You just don't want to be one of them.
Hersheys Mini Bars
Halloween Party!
Candy! Candycandycandycandycandy!
Candy Apple
Halloween Party!
Candy! Candycandycandycandycandy!
Tootsie Rolls
Halloween Party!
Candy! Candycandycandycandycandy!
Marshmallow Ghosts
Halloween Party!
Candy! Candycandycandycandycandy!
Chocolate Coins
Halloween Party!
Candy! Candycandycandycandycandy!
Human
Personality Quizzes
You've got your strengths and faults, but hey - you're only human.
Phaser
Holiday 2010
Zomgphaserspewpew!!1
Yep, It Was Easy
Quiz Awards
Aced our Super Easy Quiz 2010
Louis
Quiz Awards
So terribly tortured inside.
High Five
Top 5 with Lisa Foiles
Has watched 5 Top 5 with Lisa Foiles
Diamond Quiz Taker
Quiz Awards
Has completed 50 quizzes.
Twitter-er
Community
Has connected their twitter account to their user profile
Webby 2011
Community
Thank you for helping us win 3 Webbys!
Branston Pickle
Zero Punctuation
Witnessed the introduction of a legend
Charismatic Stallion
Zero Punctuation
I know what you're going to say.
Unpunctuated
Zero Punctuation
The first time is always the best time.
The People Have Spoken!
Zero Punctuation
Watched the community's favorite Zero Punctuation.
Gremlin
Zero Punctuation
Watched 50 Zero Punctuation reviews.
Sweet Hat!
Zero Punctuation
Watched 100 Zero Punctuation Reviews
Social Feedback
Facebook
Posted a comment using Facebook
Junior Game Designer
Extra Credits
Watched 5 episodes of Extra Credits
Candy Necklace
Halloween Party!
Candy! Candycandycandycandycandy!
Meta Meta
Extra Credits
Earn badges from 5 different Escapist shows
Vox Populi
Extra Credits
Commented on an episode of Extra Credits
The Red Button
Seriously, Don't Click it
Whatever you do, don't click here.
Liked It
Facebook
Shared a piece of content using the Like button
Triple C***** Hooker
Zero Punctuation
Watched 150 Zero Punctuation Reviews
Lemonheads
Halloween Party!
Candy! Candycandycandycandycandy!
Candy Corn
Halloween Party!
Candy! Candycandycandycandycandy!
Yahtzee Poetry
Zero Punctuation
Knows the depth of the soul of the poet
The First Avenger
Personality Quizzes
Earned the Captain America Result
The Mysterious Rival
Personality Quizzes
Whose side are you on? What are you after? Are you actually the hero's father?
Amazing Topic!
Forum Awards
For creating a thread with over 1000 replies!
Miracle of Goats
Awards
I wouldn't click on me if I were you.
WarCry Visitor
WarCry
Going to any page on WarCry.com
Gundam
Personality Quizzes
There are some things you can't protect without fighting.
Apprentice God Thanker
Jimquisition
Watched 5 episodes of Jimquisition
Journeyman God Thanker
Jimquisition
Watched 25 episodes of Jimquisition
Worship the Snake Thing
Jimquisition
The only woman protagonist in video games that doesn't rely on stereotypes.