A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have

Query: Shall we find something to kill to cheer ourselves up?

Master of sky, land and sea, arcane power and physical strength make you the greatest creature that has ever lived.

My haiku, I hate broccoli, it is disgusting, why can’t it be meat?

Do it with style, or don’t do it at all.

King of jokes, both hilarious and deadly!

Earned the SSV Normandy result

Watch where you swing your tail!

I survived The Escapist's first ever Puzzle Adventure!!

Has watched every Zero Punctuation

"Get a life"? Psh. This *is* your life.

Earned The Riddler result in the 'Which Batman Villain Are You?' Quiz.

Earned The Joker result in the 'Which Batman Villain Are You?' Quiz.

Earned the Two-Face result in the 'Which Batman Villain Are You?' Quiz.

Earned the Mr. Freeze result in the 'Which Batman Villain Are You?' Quiz.

Over 100 posts without incurring moderator wrath. [2 week minimum]

Has posted in more than 3 different forums.

Has posted in more than 12 different months.

Has commented on over 100 different topics.

Filled out a March Mayhem 2011 Bracket

Filled out a March Mayhem 2012 Bracket

There are some things you just love to hate.

Thank you for helping us win 3 Webbys!

Has added a friend!

Has been added as a friend.

Member of 1 User Group

Has created a user profile.

Has set an avatar.

Has linked their Steam account on their profile.

Has read at least one article in 5 weekly issues of The Escapist

Has read at least one article in 26 weekly issues of The Escapist

Has read at least one article in 52 weekly issues of The Escapist

It PROBABLY won't eat your brains.

Scientific progress requires sacrifice. You know this.

Articles, comics, forums, videos ... you like a little bit of everything.

The outdoors will not defeat you - unless it tries really, really hard.

You attack games as the cerebral challenges they are.

Solo is for suckers

You're the mortal enemy of the Mario Bros. But sometimes you go karting together.

You'd put this badge in your profile, but it just takes so much effort...

Two tails, no waiting.

What you lack in height you make up for in charm.

Hit first, ask questions later.

There's only so much love to go around. You dole your share out carefully.

You'd sell your own mother to buy a pack of gum. In fact, you probably already have.

We're making you angry, and we wouldn't like you when you're angry!

You've got your strengths and faults, but hey - you're only human.

You may spend a lot on hair products, but are still quite evil.

Whose side are you on? What are you after? Are you actually the hero's father?

Pure-hearted and innocent, you bring sunshine to the world. Healing spells, too.

Convert others to your deity, then bash them in the face.

You never met a back that wasn't worth stabbing.

Robe and hat not included.

I'm far too rich to deal with the unwashed hordes - not to mention these damn zombies.

You wave that geek flag, and you wave it proudly.

You're the kind of bad guy Shakespeare would write if he was a giraffe.

The monsters mostly come out at night - mostly.

You are ready to stake your claim in Dragon Age II

I heard you really, REALLY like them.

Got 100% on the Impossible Yahtzee Quiz

You're not a master yet, but you're learning.

You could face Voldemort all by yourself!

Aced the Open-Book Escapist Quiz

Completed 5 quizzes and even got some questions right!

Has completed 10 quizzes.

Has completed 25 quizzes.

Has completed 50 quizzes.

Amat victoria curam

Got the Good Ending in POTA2

Watched 3 episodes of Unskippable

Watched 7 episodes of Unskippable

Watched 15 episodes of Unskippable

Watched 25 episodes of Unskippable

Watched 35 episodes of Unskippable

Watched 45 episodes of Unskippable

Watched 52 episodes of Unskippable

Watched all of Metal Gear August on Unskippable

Has read 5 Stolen Pixels comics.

Has read 25 Stolen Pixels comics.

Watched Rebecca Mayes Muse

Watched more than one Rebecca Mayes Musing

Watched 5 episodes of Doomsday Arcade

Has fought 1 battle

Has won a battle

Has won more than one battle consecutively

Has won 1 battle without the loss of a complete army

Has fought 10 battles

Candy! Candycandycandycandycandy!

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Watched 4 episodes of Anthony Saves the World

Watched all 9 episodes of Anthony Saves the World leading up to the Finale!

I watched the Finale of Anthony Saves the World and received this limited edition badge

Gamers are the new supermen.

The first time is always the best time.

There are only two things that could make this better...

Witnessed the introduction of a legend

I know what you're going to say.

Watched the community's favorite Zero Punctuation.

Whatever you do, don't click here.

Knows the depth of the soul of the poet

Watched 50 Zero Punctuation reviews.

Watched 100 Zero Punctuation Reviews

Watched 150 Zero Punctuation Reviews

The cursed numbers of misfortune.

You've got mail!

Watched an episode of The Big Picture after Choice and Conflict

Thrice educated on games and learning.

Would you like another pellet?

Achievement Unlocked: Meta!

It's all about the music

Free as in speech, not free as in beer.

Earn badges from 5 different Escapist shows

Watched 5 episodes of Extra Credits

Watched all the PAX Extra Credits coverage

Watched all episodes of Extra Credits

Commented on an episode of Extra Credits

Get all the other Extra Credits badges

Welcome to Columbia!

Do.Not.Click.This.Button

Earned the Cybermen result in the 'Which Doctor Who Villain Are You?' Quiz.

Trapped in Nightmare Mansion.

Fight me if you dare.

Earned the Ghoul result. Who doesn't love a good b-grade horror movie?

Heroes may die, but legends endure.

I took the 2011 reader survey! I am a statistic!

You've uncovered the 8th Game of Christmas of 2011!

You've uncovered the 7th Game of Christmas of 2011!

You've uncovered the 6th Game of Christmas of 2011!

Got milk?

Tweet! Tweet!

You've uncovered the 5th Game of Christmas of 2011!

You've uncovered the 4th Game of Christmas of 2011!

You've uncovered the 3rd Game of Christmas of 2011!

You've uncovered the 2nd Game of Christmas of 2011!

You've uncovered the 1st Game of Christmas of 2011!

Before Jaws, there was you!

Raptors rule!

Sic Semper Tyrannosaurus!

Fly the prehistoric skies!

Mess with the Triceratops, you get the horns!

Awarded to members of the Publisher's Club

Member of 15 user groups

We Do What We Must, Because We Can

The bears thought you were delicious.

"Don't you cry, he'll regenerate again someday!"

It's not running away, it's a tactical retreat!

Meep, Merp, Muuu!

You've lost your best and only friend...

Cats, caterpillars, coasters, copulation!

Earned the Salarian result in the "Which Mass Effect Race Are You?" Quiz

Earned the Drell result in the "Which Mass Effect Race Are You?" Quiz

Earned the Quarian result in the "Which Mass Effect Race Are You?" Quiz

Earned the Asari result in the "Which Mass Effect Race Are You?" Quiz

Earned the Krogan result in the "Which Mass Effect Race Are You?" Quiz

Earned the Turian result in the "Which Mass Effect Race Are You?" Quiz

Earned the Geth result in the "Which Mass Effect Race Are You? Part 2!" Quiz

Earned the Batarian result in the "Which Mass Effect Race Are You? Part 2!" Quiz

Earned the Volus result in the "Which Mass Effect Race Are You? Part 2!" Quiz

Earned the Elcor result in the "Which Mass Effect Race Are You? Part 2!" Quiz

Earned the Hanar result in the "Which Mass Effect Race Are You? Part 2!" Quiz

Earned the Collectors result in the "Which Mass Effect Race Are You? Part 2!" Quiz

What you lack in marksmanship you make up for in blind loyalty!

He come to town / come to save / the Princess Zelda!

Do a barrel roll!

A young angel famous for defeating the evil Medusa!

Om nom nom nom!

Space pirates beware!

It's a-me Mario!

God of jokes, riddles and pranks!

Celebrating one year of amazing music by Miracle of Sound!

You’re late! You’re late! For a very important date!

Earned the Black Widow result

Earned the Hawkeye Result

Earned the Thor result

Earned the Iron Man result

Earned the Captain America Result

Earned the Hulk result

Has completed 75 quizzes

You've completed the "Know Your Casual Games" quiz!

Earned the "Blue Magic" Result

Earned the Alfred Pennyworth result.

Earned the Oracle result.

Earned the Commisioner Gordon result.

Earned the Catwoman result.

Earned the Nightwing result.

You're consistently trounced by a kid and an electric rat. But you keep trying.

For taking the Escapist Birthday Quiz.

You're smarter than him! Congrats on getting 100% on the Escapist Birthday Quiz!

There are very few games you haven't heard of or played through.

You've got a few lesser known classics hiding out in your game library.

You really like playing games that are within other games.

Completed the "Sci-Fi Militaries" quiz!

You're no stranger to the Star Treks and the Star Wars of the film world.

Over 1000 posts without incurring moderator wrath. [2 month minimum]

You're a well traveled gamer!

You induce narcolepsy just by introducing yourself.

Congratulations! You survived the adorableness ... This time.

Reward For Taking the Gaming Alphabet Quiz

Reward for Acing the Gaming Alphabet Quiz

Killing is an art. And I am a Master.

Names are for friends, so I don't need one.

Has commented on over 1,000 different topics.

You make head wounds look good.

You are the scariest letter.

Who wasn't scared of that thing?

A fire djinn is the worst kind.

We are not alone.

Don't watch Killer Clowns from Outer Space.

Underneath the Princess's smile, there's nothing but malice.

The wicked witch is scary no matter what cardinal direction they are from.

Stick 'em in the tuckus!

Arr, you scurvy dogs, beware my blade.

The scariest sporting equipment ever created.

Earned the Cyborg result in the "What's My Evil Pet?" Quiz!

Earned the Fluffy Cat result in the "What's My Evil Pet?" Quiz!

Earned the Rat result in the "What's My Evil Pet?" Quiz!

Fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.

You're the cat's meow!

It's time for this gopher to make a stand!

A light from the shadow shall spring.

They stole it from us. My precious.

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

Voted for Mass Effect 3 for 2012’s Game of the Year!

Christmas is not a time or a season, but a state of mind.

All hail the Dark Lord of Christmas!

You're a master Tree Hugger!

You know what we like for 2012!

Happiness is a warm puppy

You've got plenty of bark and bite to go around.

Any tool is a weapon if you hold it right.

You have a fondness for the pointy end of a stick.

You have completed the Name That Toon Quiz and survived.

I have Commanded the Keen quiz "Name That Toon!"

You've survived the impossible character quiz.

You've assassinated the character quiz.

You've trudged through the Star Wars Quiz.

You've Force Choked The Star Wars Quiz

I wouldn't click on me if I were you.

Has watched 5 Top 5 with Lisa Foiles

Has watched 10 Top 5 with Lisa Foiles

Entering a giveaway on WarCry.com

Going to any page on WarCry.com

Has watched 20 Top 5 with Lisa Foiles

Buttercup? Blossom? Oh No! I - I can't do it alone!

Your powers are no match for me silly billy.

Experienced Day 1 of the Expo Showcase!

Mental/Mobile/Mechanized Organism Designed Only for Killing

I am Crimson Dynamo. I am break you!

We're iron mongers, we make weapons.

I am all powerful! Your new Master!

There will be blood in the water and the sharks will come.

Experienced Day 3 of the Expo Showcase!

Experienced Day 2 of the Expo Showcase!

Experienced Day 4 of the Expo Showcase!

Experienced Day 5 of the Expo Showcase!

Has posted in more than 36 different months. Wow!

Earned the "Red Magic" Result

Earned the "Black Magic" Result

Earned the "Green Magic" Result

Earned the "White Magic" Result

My powers are beyond your mortal imagination.

I'm one of few dragons ever to have a song.

I'm the best there is at what I do. And what I do is roller skate.

Has watched 30 Top 5 with Lisa Foiles

It's a me, in 3D.

The best and brightest gaming has to offer in 2013.

Created a thread with over 1,000 views.

Everything you need to take care of those pesky space invaders!

There are some things you can't protect without fighting.

It's Morphin' time!

I earned the Deadpool result in the Wolverine Rivals quiz!

Woo-oo!

Has watched 40 Top 5 with Lisa Foiles

If you're going to threaten me, do it properly. Second of all, you're nuts if you think kidnapping ME is going to help YOU cheat your way to the top.

Biggest, baddest, most destroyingest Daedra there is

Clouds don't smell bad. They taste of butter! And tears.

Took the "What Magic is This!?" Quiz

You bet I do!

He doesn't wear it much anymore, so you can borrow it.

The constitution provides that a man is innocent until proven guilty.

Wakka wakka

It's not easy being green.

And now... classical music meets seafood!

Always know your enemy.

You know almost too much about Captain America.

Lisa Foiles - Internet Celebrity, even if she left off Ducktales that one time.

In their tongue, he is Dovahkiin... DRAGON BORN!

Watched 5 episodes of Jimquisition

Watched 25 episodes of Jimquisition

Watched 50 Episodes of Jimquisition

Watched 100 episodes of Jimquisition

Is your mind playing tricks on you... or am I?

It's not always about the money, ladies and gents!

The only woman protagonist in video games that doesn't rely on stereotypes.

It's the only way to be sure.

Watched 150 Episodes of Jimquisition

You completed the quiz. Now go forth and fight for mutant rights.

You got every question right! You're ready to find all the world's mutants and save them from whatever.

I think we just found a Transformer!

At the end of this day, one shall stand, one shall fall!

You are Groot. You are Groot. You are Groot.

Voted in the Reader's Choice Game of the Year 2014

"You know your stuff." He grudgingly admits.

I finished this.

What in the hell. This makes no sense.

You've spent your entire life studying for this degree.

Took the Critical Miss quiz

Scored 100% on the Critical Miss quiz.