There are some things you can't protect without fighting.

Adventuring is a kid's game, but you'll offer a sword and some tips.

"See them driven before you!"

Big, loud, and obnoxious, but you have legions of (semi) loyal followers anyway.

Your heart is full of warmth. You're also kind of a sucker.

Both stylish and delicious.

Robe and hat not included.

She's like a GPS that talks back to you.

You want to shoot things.

Watched 35 episodes of Unskippable

Has read 150 Stolen Pixels comics.

Has read at least one article in 52 weekly issues of The Escapist

Has won 10 battles without the loss of a complete army

Has won 10 battles

Has posted in more than 3 different forums.

Has fought 10 battles

You've been targeted for Shermination. Come with me if you want to live.

Has won a battle

Has won 1 battle without the loss of a complete army

Has earned more than 10,000 treasure

Over 100 posts without incurring moderator wrath. [2 week minimum]

Has set an avatar.

Has added a friend!

Has commented on over 100 different topics.

Has created a user profile.

Has been added as a friend.

Created a thread with over 1,000 views.

I voted in every 2009 March Mayhem match-up!

Has fought 1 battle

Has won more than one battle consecutively

Has added more than 10 friends.

Has been added as a friend by 10 others.

We won the Webby...because we rule!

Has posted in more than 12 different months.

Over 1000 posts without incurring moderator wrath. [2 month minimum]

For taking the Escapist Birthday Quiz.

Celebrating 4 years of The Escapist!

Completed 5 quizzes and even got some questions right!

Has added their Xbox Live gamertag to their profile.

Has linked their Steam account on their profile.

Member of 1 User Group

Watched 3 episodes of There Will Be Brawl

Watched 5 episodes of There Will Be Brawl

Watched two episodes of The Escapist Show

Watched 8 episodes of The Escapist Show

Watched Red Alert on The Escapist Show

Watched 5 episodes of Doomsday Arcade

Watched 3 episodes of Unskippable

Watched 7 episodes of Unskippable

Watched 15 episodes of Unskippable

Watched Rebecca Mayes Muse

Has read at least one article in 5 weekly issues of The Escapist

Has read at least one article in 26 weekly issues of The Escapist

Has read 5 Stolen Pixels comics.

Watched 25 episodes of Unskippable

Has read 25 Stolen Pixels comics.

Has commented on over 1,000 different topics.

Has completed 10 quizzes.

Has read 75 Stolen Pixels comics.

Watched more than one Rebecca Mayes Musing

Aced the Easy Left 4 Dead Quiz

Has posted in more than 10 different forums.

For creating a thread with over 50 replies.

Covered in chocolate, your speed has increased by 1.

"Crush your enemies!"

Has completed 25 quizzes.

You might not die in a sketchy situation. Hooray!

You'd put this badge in your profile, but it just takes so much effort...

You have embraced your path, but you still have much to learn.

Watched 45 episodes of Unskippable

Candy! Candycandycandycandycandy!

Candy! Candycandycandycandycandy!

Lok'tar Ogar! For the Horde!

Not for use while gaming.

Filled out a March Mayhem 2011 Bracket

You are ready to stake your claim in Dragon Age II

Watched 52 episodes of Unskippable

Legends say your race was created by a mad wizard but all you care about is ripping out the throats of your enemies.

Thank you for helping us win 3 Webbys!

Watched the community's favorite Zero Punctuation.

What's more sinister than an octopus drag queen?

Free as in speech, not free as in beer.

Watched 5 episodes of Extra Credits

Earn badges from 5 different Escapist shows

Commented on an episode of Extra Credits

Watched 50 Zero Punctuation reviews.

Has posted in more than 36 different months. Wow!

Earned the Cybermen result in the 'Which Doctor Who Villain Are You?' Quiz.

Has completed 50 quizzes.

Shared a piece of content using the Like button

Completed the "Sci-Fi Militaries" quiz!

Earned the Necromancer result in the Guild Wars 2 Profession quiz.

Congratulations! You survived the adorableness ... This time.

Guns, guns and more guns!

Killing is an art. And I am a Master.

They stole it from us. My precious.

You may not have made it through the quiz in one piece but at least you're alive.

You've trudged through the Star Wars Quiz.

You're right. This is just the beginning.

Going to any page on WarCry.com

Earned the Private Vasquez result in the "Which Marine from Aliens Are You?" Quiz

Watched 5 episodes of Jimquisition

Take me to the crush!